The All About Ashley Play (season 1 finale!)

Everyone except Ashley: (looking at newspaper, and are shocked by what they see)
Ashley: (comes up to them) Hey, guys! What’s going on?
Lily: (crying) Oh, Ashley, I’m SO sorry! I shall ask the spirits for help! Ohm (meditates deeply)
Alexa: WHY, oh WHY did this have to happen to you!?!?!?!? I hope you recover soon.
Ginny: The news is so terrible, I don’t even feel like working out!
Analise: Why did your family’s company have to faal! (falls)
Thalia: If I am mathematically correct, it will take you approximately 10 years, 2 months, and 12 days to regain your wealth.
Ashley: What are you guys talking about?
Everyone else: Didn’t you read the newspaper?
Ashley: (laughs a lot) Reading the newspaper? Me? That’s a good one! (laughs)
Thalia: A health inspector visited your dad’s company, Apple Inc. Unfortunately, your dad’s company failed the test. The health inspector had to shut the company down, and I’m afraid Apple is no more. Your family also had to stop the construction of your summer villa in Honolulu, Hawaii. It’s a very, very sad loss.
Ashley: Huh?
Alexa: Your dad failed a health test…
Lily: Your dad can’t go to work anymore, cuz his company doesn’t exist anymore…
Analise: The Apple has reached the core…
Ginny: Your house in Hawaii can’t be finished, and…
Everyone except Ashley: You’re poor.
Ashley: I’m… poor? This is the WORST day of my life! (sob)
Ginny: I’m sorry, Ashley.
Alexa: There must be some way we can help!
Thalia: Yes, most certainly.
Lily: Here are some words of wisdom: Helping is caring and caring leads to friendship and friendship leads to kindness which leads to helping which leads to caring which… wait, I said that already.
Analise: Yeah! You could stay at my house!
Ashley: Thanks, Analise. Right now, I need all the help I can get.
Ginny: In fact, we can all help.
Alexa: Yeah, I have a few ideas up my sleeve.
Thalia: Then it’s settled. We’ll start helping her tomorrow.
Ashley: Great! I’ll pack my stuff. Oh, wait! (starts crying) I HAVE NO STUFF! (runs off crying)
(first day-Analise)
Analise: And this is your room.
Ashley: WHAT? My bathroom is ten times bigger than this!
Analise: I’m sorry but I am not as rich as you.
Ashley: I am not rich anymore, remember! (sobs)
Analise: Oh no! I am so sorry! I know what will cheer you up! I’ll show you something you will really like!
(Analise’s mom is in kitchen making Crème brulee)
Analise’s mom: Honey, this is all for you. We feel very sorry and we want to make you feel better.
Ashley: OMG! Crème brulee! AND you got me maid! But she is not wearing the right outfit but that’s okay!
Analise: Ashley! That’s my mom!
Ashley; Oh well, my old maid can give you lessons. Training begins tomorrow.
Analise’s mom: I know that you are not used to living like this and some things are a little bit different. No one bosses anyone around. Everyone is treated equally, okay?
Ashley: Okay. Analise, you can get a maid too. I don’t mind.
Analise: (groans) This is going to be harder than I thought. (hits head, then falls) Thanks for adding the extra padding mom.
Mom: No problem! Aaaah! (falls)
Ashley: (crying) I want to be rich again! (runs away)
Next day at department store:
Alexa: I understand that department stores are entirely new to you, and I’m glad to help you out.
Ashley: What’s a department store?
Alexa: (sigh) It’s a place that sells clothes and many, many other things for less money!
Ashley: THIS is the dreaded place where people sell p-p-polyester and c-c-cotton?
Alexa: NO ONE you come across is going to care about the type of fabric you wear. Department store clothes look just as nice as designer clothes. Now, look at that amazing shirt. It would go so nicely with that super-cool pair of jeans. A very important rule to remember is that these clothes are really dirty, so never try them on and always use hand sanitizer every time you so much as touch something.
Ashley: EWWW!!!! THOSE CLOTHES ARE NASTY!!!
Store clerk: Excuse me, ma’am, would you like me to kick you out of here?
Ashley: YES, PLEASE! But not in those shoes. (Gives one of her shoes to clerk)
Alexa: Oh, sorry about that. She is just new to the world of department stores. (Quietly) She is Ashley Rich, ma’am.
Store clerk: Miss Rich, my condolences to you and your parents…but I’ll still have to kick you out. (looks at shoe) Can I keep these?
Ashley: NO! (takes shoe, runs out of store)
Alexa: Ashley! Wait! (runs after her)

Ginny: Alright, Ashley. Today, I’m going to take you to a pool.
Ashley: Yay! Swimming in my private pool is the best place to work out.
Ginny: (takes her to pool, points) I meant a public pool.
Ashley: What!?!?! Public? You mean… with other people?
Ginny: Exactly! Now, remember, be careful not to bump into anyone. And, whatever you do, DON’T stand next to a little kid, because they sort of pee in there…
Ashley: EWW! No way! I’m leaving (tries to walk away)
Ginny: Oh, no you don’t! (pushes her into water) The water’s fine!
Ashley: AAH! Cold, cold COLD! (tries to get out)
Ginny: (splashes her) Come on, at least give it a try!
Ashley: NO! (starts crying) I want my private pool back!
Ginny: (covers her mouth) Shh! Everyone’s staring at us! (thinks) Hey, Ashley, are you hungry?
Ashley: A little.
Ginny: Come on. Let’s go to the snack bar. They have some really good hot dogs. But, there’s a really long line. Guess we’re gonna have to wait a while!
Ashley: Oh, please! I can go to the front! (starts walking)
Ginny: But, Ashley, you’re not- Oh, here we go.
Ashley: Hi. I’m Ashley Rich. I’ll take escargot to go.
Snack Girl: Two reasons why that’s not possible. 1: We don’t sell snails, and 2: YOU’RE POOR NOW! GO TO THE END OF THE LINE!
Ashley: Oh, yeah. (cries) But, I had to live in a regular house, shop at a department store, and… SWIM IN A PUBLIC POOL!
S.G: Oh, that must be torture. Now, as I was saying, (picks up bat) GO TO THE END OF THE LINE! (gets out of shack, whacks her until she goes to end of line)
Ginny: KNOCK IT OFF, SNACK GIRL! YOU KNOW WHAT, WE’RE NEVER COMING BACK AGAIN! Come on, Ashley! (they leave)

Lily: So Ashley, what do you do to relax?
Ashley: Easy! I speed dial 2 and get Gloria’s Private Massage and Spa Inc. to come and then she gives me mud facial and put cucumbers on my eyes. Then, they give me a back massage. It is very relaxing.
Lily: Well now you will have to meditate (sits down in lotus and meditates)
Ashley: What happened to your feet? Are they broken?
Lily: No. I’m doing a full lotus.
Ashley: What’s that?
Lily: I’ll teach you how. First take your right leg and put on your left thigh.
Ashley: Ok, like this?
Lily: Yes! You got it! Now put your other foot on your other thigh.
Ashley: Ok, but…OW OW OW!
Lily: Try again!
Ashley: Ok whatever. (tries again) (straining voice) Is…thi..s…right?
Lily: YES! YES! You did it!!
Ashley: I’m done? Ok. Bye. (starts to get up)
Lily: No that’s not all. Now you actually have to meditate.
Ashley: Fine (goes to lotus) Om…Om…Om…(peeks) Lily? Lily (waves hand across face) LILY? Good. (tries to run away)
Lily: ASHLEY! COME BACK HERE!
Ashley: Aaaah! Oh, my legs hurt sooo much and I feel sooo stressed. (cries)
Lily: You want a back massage don’t you.
Ashley: Yes, yes I do. (lies down on stomach) I’m ready!
Lily: Ugh… (gives Ashley back massage)

Thalia’s House
Thalia: So, Ashley, what do you do to prepare for a test? Err, do you even bother?
Ashley: I either hang out at my mansion, go shopping at a designer store, swim in my private pool, or get a facial and back massage. I never remember to prepare for tests!
Thalia: Well…now that you don’t have such luxuries, you need to study. I think you should start with the very, very basics since you’re very new to studying. Soon, you’ll be able to, say, find the rate of interest in a bank account.
Ashley: I know this; it’s easy! I=PRT! I=interest, P=principal, R=rate, and T=time!
Thalia: (staring in shock) What’s two plus two?
Ashley: Is that a trick question?
Thalia: I bet your brain only works if I mention money! (Pulls out three dollars from pocket and lays them out) You have three dollars, and I give you four more dollars. (Pulls out four more dollars) How many dollars do you have now?
Ashley: Ummmmm, seven dollars, right?
Thalia: (Happily) Exactly! Here is something a tiny bit harder. If each person in TAGLAA had ten dollars, how many dollars would we have all together?
Ashley: Is it sixty dollars?
Thalia: That’s perfect! Let’s move on to history and social studies. Which country invented paper money?
Ashley: I was actually listening to this in school! It’s China!
Thalia: Wow! And which building in which city does the American government print money?
Ashley: It’s the Bureau of Engraving and Printing in Washington, D.C.!
Thalia: Whoa, Ashley. I am so proud of you! With the right mindset, you could do almost anything.
Ashley and Thalia high-five and leave the stage.

Someone’s house:
Thalia: (Happily) So, how was your day with Ashley?
Everyone Else: (groans)
Analise: She refuses to stay in my house! Every night, we have to get her back in! And I spent 10 days looking for a maid!
Alexa: I had to touch her shoe! It’s SO unhygienic!
Ginny: I had to pown the snack girl at the public pool!
Lily: You guys have it easy. I had to give her a back massage.
Alexa: Anyway, how was your day with Ashley, Thalia?
Thalia: We had a splendid time together. I think I’ve really changed her.
Ashley: (enters, is reading a fat book) Hello, my fellow scholars. I was just reading a novel about the California gold rush. Did you know that James Marshall was the first one to discover the gold? That guy was a rich genius! And, I just finished another novel about managing your money. And, I watched Mad Money last night. Jim Cramer is a financial genius! In fact, everyone is a genius!
Ginny: Ashley… you’re… smart?
Lily: Wow! She can do anything! What’s 72 divided by 12?
Ashley: Is that a trick question?
Thalia: Her brain only functions when she’s thinking about wealth. Watch: Ashley, whats $72 divided by $12?
Ashley: $6. However, that is a juvenile question. One might say, interpret $865+$89-$87*$x=$10,404. X is obviously…
Ashley and Thalia: $12! (they high-five)
Thalia: I love this new Ashley!
Ashley: (looks around, sees newspaper) Oh, the newspaper’s here! I need to see how much money it will take to seal the oil leak! (picks it up, starts reading, gasps) Isaac Martin Rich Found a Diamond Mine Below New Summer Villa! OMG! (throws book away) I’M RICH AGAIN!!!!!!
Everyone Else (except Thalia): YES!
Thalia: NO! (runs to Ashley) Ashley, whats $12 * $2?
Ashley: Who cares? I’M RICH AGAIN!
Thalia: (takes newspaper) … she’s right! It says that Isaac Martin Rich, who often goes by I.M Rich, went all the way back to his summer villa in Hawaii to retrieve his handkerchief.
Lily: (takes newspaper) While he was there, he saw the construction of his was-going-to-be-and-now-will-be outdoor pool… and he found a diamond!
Ginny: (takes newspaper) So, I.M Rich kept digging… and found an entire diamond mine!
Analise: (takes newspaper) I.M Rich has now started a new company that sells disinfectant products named Pineapple, so he won’t have to worry about any health inspectors.
Alexa: (takes newspaper) And, of course, I.M Rich blames this whole catastrophe on the health inspector… Mr. Isaiah Mitchell, I.M... Cleen.
Everyone Else (except Ashley) THAT’S YOUR DAD!
Alexa: Guys! Shhh!
Ashley: (turns around dramatically) Your dad… shut down my dad’s… company?
(camera focuses on each person’s face and makes wooshing noises)
Recorded message: WHAT WILL HAPPEN WHEN TAGLAA BREAKS UP? FIND OUT IN SEASON TWO!
Everyone: (suddenly happy) Okay, bye!


Coming up in season 2: TAGLAA? BREAKING UP? WHAT WILL HAPPEN TO THESE 6 BEST FRIENDS??? Coming in November or January... not sure of the exact date yet...

stay tuned!